14 February 2008

Blogging ... Finally

Writing a blog takes courage...at least it does for me. I see what's available on the net, and I wonder. I wonder how people know what to write about; how they know that someone is going to want to read it; how they will not feel ashamed of what they have written.

Having said that, I think writers are the 'unpolled on' wonders of the world. Writers never cease to amaze me. Who is their muse? What inspires a writer to , well, write?! I must find out for myself. I sit down to write, and ...nothing happens. Then I wonder why I even want to do this. I could just go back to the report I had to write for my boss. That is just facts and it will be over and done with in the morning. Also, if the heavens are smiling on me, he may even approve of it.

Now, though, I have set out to write and, even in an empty room, I feel that accepting defeat would be an embarrassment. So, like little Hobbits trying to scale that mountain, one step at a time, I slog on.

To what?? I scratch my head, furtively write a sentence or two, afraid that I might despise myself as soon as the sentence is complete. Then I strike it off as a sentence that is not catchy enough. I write another and find I don't hate myself that much, after all, and I follow it up with another sentence. I continue in this way for a page or two and, the exhilaration is catching up. Now I feel like a skydiver, starting with a backward pull but increasing speed as I go. And then, suddenly, I find that you can't stop. My sentences spiral on, downward, twisting and turning out of control, they make contact with a few obstructions with a sickening thud and still drop heavily downward. The words get bigger and bigger and the sense fuzzier while the ideas are just whizzing past my head in a deafening scream....!!!.....

Then I stop, I hit rock bottom.... and absolute silence.

I don't know what I have written and why I have written it. Still, I survived the experience, and lived to tell the tale. Maybe, I will tell the tale! I finally have courage to write!

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