15 June 2011

Douchebaggery as an Art Form: V S Naipaul Excels!

V.S. Naipaul has been a constant source of irritation and disgust for me for a very long time. I know these are really harsh, one-sided and disproportionate words to use on an individual, that too a literary figure like Naipaul. However, the man has no qualms shooting his mouth off, and I am just returning his favor! 

So, Vee Ess Naipaul, first of all, dude, not loving your name... Hard to pronounce, and harder to type.

Second, I had to read your hot-air for a couple of Indian Writing papers in college, and I fell asleep in every class. I mean EVERY. CLASS. Man, why can't you be even a degree more interesting than you are?! Seriously, is that too much to ask? For crying out loud, you get published  for this crap.. at least make an effort!!

Thirdly, dear fellow, I get it - you don't like India.  You can't stand the dirty water running down streets, you detest the hypocrites, and you are sure that all Indians have 'slave mentality'. That's fine. Now move on.... You have not lived here. In fact, you don't belong here. Just because you have Indian ancestry in your blood, does not mean you get to say mean things about us. Go say something mean about someone else for a change, huh?! Get over yourself, seriously!

Fourth in a series of rants that is pure catharsis right now, is the fact that Mr.Naipaul, you, in general, are a douchebag. Wikipedia says so (dear reader, go directly to the 'Personal Life' section. That's the good (bad) stuff!), your former friend reiterates, and you sir, most certainly proved it!

Dear Reader, here is the entire text of the last article that I have mentioned. This one appeared in Guardian (a UK newspaper) and I simply couldn't believe what I was reading!

VS Naipaul finds no woman writer his literary match – not even Jane Austen

VS Naipaul, no stranger to literary spats and rows, has done it again. This time, the winner of the Nobel prize for literature has lashed out at female authors, saying there is no woman writer whom he considers his equal – and singling out Jane Austen for particular criticism.

In an interview at the Royal Geographic Society on Tuesday about his career, Naipaul, who has been described as the "greatest living writer of English prose", was asked if he considered any woman writer his literary match. He replied: "I don't think so." Of Austen he said he "couldn't possibly share her sentimental ambitions, her sentimental sense of the world".
He felt that women writers were "quite different". He said: "I read a piece of writing and within a paragraph or two I know whether it is by a woman or not. I think [it is] unequal to me."
The author, who was born in Trinidad, said this was because of women's "sentimentality, the narrow view of the world". "And inevitably for a woman, she is not a complete master of a house, so that comes over in her writing too," he said.
He added: "My publisher, who was so good as a taster and editor, when she became a writer, lo and behold, it was all this feminine tosh. I don't mean this in any unkind way."
The criticism from the author is unsurprising. Naipaul is no stranger to criticism. In the past Naipaul has criticised India's top female authors for their "banality" on the topic he is best known for writing about, the legacy of British colonialism.
He also had a long-running feud with US travel writer and author Paul Theroux.
Their 30-year friendship came to a sudden end, after Theroux discovered that a book he gave Naipaul had been put on sale for £916. The comments were dismissed by the Writers Guild of Great Britain, which said it would not "waste its breath on them". Literary journalist Alex Clark said: "Is he really saying that writers such as Hilary Mantel, AS Byatt, Iris Murdoch are sentimental or write feminine tosh?"
Literary critic Helen Brown described them as "arrogant, attention-seeking".He should heed the words of George Eliot – a female writer – whose works have had a far more profound impact on world culture than his."

Mr.Naipaul, women are awesome writers too! Just because you can't control your envy, and can't fade off gracefully, does not mean you belittle others. In your own words, "Take it on the chin, and move on."

Yep. He does have a general air of douche-ness around him!

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