19 October 2015

Colors Infinity - Too Many Cooks?

Yes, Colors Infinity is finally gracing us, complete with a semblance of a TV schedule, with actual
 ads and repeats and all that. Indian Television can now boast of having one more entertainment channel and 7 more shows we are going to ignore to watch a bunch of drawling Australians cook. Don't get me wrong, I mean Masterchef Australia is actually one of the best shows on TV right now, whether reality or otherwise. But I feel that 'My Kitchen Rules' is actually worse than Masterchef US. I could rant about that last one for a week, but I'm savoring it for a later date when I really feel like punching a wall!

Right now, back to Colors Infinity. A new channel with a good look, I think those guys have their television-loving hearts in the right place. Colors doesn't err too much in these things. Even their Hindi line-up is decent. 

Here's why I would want to watch Colors Infinity:

Good Line-up of Shows - Colors Infinity offers some really good shows. Blindspot is an awesome show. The excessively tattoed woman who can't remember who she is, but can take down three men in under 10 seconds... I mean, COME ON! And she has an FBI agent's name tattoed to her back...INtriiigggue!! Black Mirror is another show that actually deserves the adjective 'gripping'! With one-hour long episodes, each telling a different story, I kind of got an acutely Roald-Dahl vibe from the show. And I LOVE Dahl, so thumbs-up right there. Shows I wouldn't mind watching are Flash, The Big C, and Forever.

The Stage: Another singing contest reality show, The Stage is different from the rest in that it features Indian contestants singing English songs. A refreshing change from other reality shows of this kind, so far, The Stage doesn't have any of that stupid introspective inane monologues that contestants indulge in and there is no bitching (yet) of other contestants. A nice surprise is that the judges are actually fair and open with their critiquing. I completely expected them to be impressed
with every contestant who did a poor imitation of every singer from Western pop music. But it was nice to be proved wrong! When someone is all swag and no performance, they call the person out on their BS and send them to the bench. Seriously, try slipping a quick one past Vishal Dadlani! The judges are equally quick to appreciate an unassuming contestant if they have an amazing voice. More than anything, all judges unanimously insist that the contestants bring out their unique personalities to their singing, and make the song their own, instead of doing an imitation of the original artiste. The cherry on top is the pleasantly engaging Shibani Dandekar, who hosts the show with a 'Çat Deeley' vibe, but toned down tastefully for an Indian audience. Her language is impeccable, and has none of the vomit-inducing vocabulary like 'mind-blowing'and áwesome'and 'fantabulous'... blech! I have a sour taste in my mouth just saying those words! Looks like Colors Infinity has put a lot of serious thought into putting The Stage together, and it does not disappoint.

However, there's a couple of things where the channel is completely missing the point, and that's where AXN and FX are going to steal audience numbers if Colors Infinity doesn't get its act together quickly.

How Colors Infinity is Pulling the Rug out from under its feet:

The Schedule: This is why you can't put Karan and Alia in charge of real work - the scheduling of shows at Colors Infinity. Those two are just sufficiently out of touch with reality to assume that normal people have 3 hours to spare, sitting in front of the telly watching 3 episodes back to back of any show, however popular or gripping it is. Most people watching shows during the evenings are folks back from work, sometimes bringing a bit of work home, or making dinner or feeding kids or getting them to finish homework, or getting ready for bed in general. And these are not shows that you can let run in the background and go on with your work, and still keep track of the story. Believe me, I've tried it! So, the back-2-back episodes are just not working. You get hooked on the first episode and you really want to watch, but by the time the opening credits roll for the second episode, you find that there are a million things left undone around you, and you've just got to ditch this show and hope for reruns some time in the future. FAIL guys!
Yeah...I wouldn't advertise that, if I were you!
Shows that don't really work: My Kitchen Rules, as I said earlier, is a messed-up version of Australians cooking. They have taken the back-biting and sabotaging to a whole new level, by giving these inane people the right to score their opponents! Predictably, the contestants deliberately give each other low scores. Nice going guys. Real mature! iZombie, Arrow, and The Musketeers are a few other shows I happened to watch. They just didn't keep me hooked all that much, and I let them go after a couple of episodes, I'm afraid.

I confess I haven't followed Colors Infinity from start of the day to the end, and there are some shows like Chasing Life, The Player, The Last Ship (promos looked really good), The Night Shift etc. that I simply have never watched, because its just not possible to do that and continue to live like a functioning member of the human race. So this isn't a thorough review of the channel. This is just my overall impression, and comments on some glaring issues and some really good stuff I noticed.

Well, as TV channels go, this is not one of the worst, I'll say. That honor goes to MTV. That channel has been on a downward spiral for a long time now! Anyways, Colors Infinity is in its growing years, and I'm sure they are going to get better with time. I'm really looking forward to the news shows on their list - The Royals (sounds delicious!), Bates Motel (some good old psycho horror) and Nashville (I'm sure there's got to be oodles of sass in that one. Backstage with singing sensations! Oooh!) So, yay! There's not much that can go wrong from now on.


Oh, Karan? Please stop saying 'paradigm shift'! Just STOP!

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