05 June 2009

America's Sweethearts - Joe Roth

America's Sweethearts - I can't decide whether the title is sarcastic or straightforward! The story is as old as the hills, only this time there are lots of famous names in it. Stuck up beautiful sister Gwen Harrison (Catherine Zeta-Jones), whom all the men swoon over, marries a wonderfully spineless creature of a man Eddie Thomas (John Cusack). Both are also famous film stars, which makes them amazingly neurotic. Wife is looking for a man with a stronger back bone, ends up with a man who's... well... got only that. Husband, now on his way to becoming the 'ex', hides himself behind the vague drivel of his psychiatrist about flowers and flames .

The wife's previously 'calorifically challenged' sister Kiki (Julia Roberts in a terrible fat-suit) is now an attractive size 2. She is falling for her ex-bro-in-law, and he is beginning to see her now, when she has lost all the weight that was clogging her smile. Convenient! By the way, what's with the silly nickname 'Kiki'?! Poor Julia Roberts!

Gwen and Eddie have co-starred in a movie that won't get promoted if they are not together anymore (I thought split-ups got all the attention and not happy marriages!). Anyway, this becomes a very contrived situation for all parties concerned to meet, and for all the guts to spill when the psycho director shows personal conversations of the stars at the very-public press junket.

Some jaw-dropping; many threats of suing and libel; and eventually some break-ups and make-ups. Gwen's Spanish boyfriend is furious, Eddie and Kiki get together and I'm not sure what happens to the movie. The stars, though, are definitely America's sweethearts. You know, like Britney Spears - people do not generally approve of her, but boy do they gawk when they spot her in public!

The movie is like an adorable baby that looks the same but grew too big in size, and is not endearing anymore. Too many stars, if you ask me. Julia Roberts is wasted in this role. She is too huge a phenomenon to be playing anyone's chubby sister. Catherine Zeta-Jones is okay, but really there is no room on screen for Two fabulous women! I have never been a fan of Cusack, and I kind of wished that Roberts finally fell for Billy Crystal instead. He is a much better watch than Cusack any day.
Gawd! and no comments on the Spanish guy. And Why, oh Why does Chris Walken go for such silly roles when he clearly has a lot more talent?

This movie is okay if you have absolutely nothing to do on a lazy afternoon, and feel like doing something unhealthy like eat a lot of fat and carbs and laze on the couch, and generally get wasted. I say this because you don't have to be in your senses to take in this movie. Enjoy!

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